PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
