just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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