Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
tell me about the fingering
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
