Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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