dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize