that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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