not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You did what with his pubic hair?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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