Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
