I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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