my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
