I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
