just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
