I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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