There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
