I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
