he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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