she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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