Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
