I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
