"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
