Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
