I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
