he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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