I want to make a zoo with you.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
