Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
