im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
