Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
