So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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