I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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