I faked an abortion last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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