I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
