Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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