We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
40s are totally the cure
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
