If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The air was thick with penises
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Will exercising make me less horny?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
