Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
