sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
