Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize
