I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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