Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
