why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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