you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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