Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
