his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Randomize
