so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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