Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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