He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
