come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
