you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have post one night stand depression
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