butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
