she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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