im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
