and you said cock pushups were impossible
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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