his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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