Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
