Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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