all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
