It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
