ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
