You work out of a Hotel?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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