Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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