I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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