apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize