Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
