I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
