At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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