I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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