my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
