He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
