Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
