I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize